Why are Leaders Followed....

In coming up with five great leaders my choices are: 
    Martin Luther King Jr ( January 15, 1929-April 4, 1968). This man and his leadership changed the world we live in today. He played a pivotal role in changing the way African-Americans are viewed in this country. He was a strong leader because he had a voice and was not afraid to use it. He stood up for what was right and didn't back down to anyone. He was successful in his plight because of the need for change at this point and time in history.

  Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela is a leader. He was an anti-apatheid activist. He wanted to end the segregation of South Africa. He was arrested and convicted of sabotage in 1962 and spent 27 years in prison. After his release he was the first person to be elected in a fully representative democratic election. He led the party negotiations that led to the establishment of democracy in 1994. He is a vigilant man who will not be kept down. He has gained support in his country through his work at trying to resolve the issue of poverty. His attitude and sacrifices for his beliefs for his country are what make him great.
 John F Kennedy (May 29, 1917 - November 22, 1963) John Kennedy was ahead of his time. He was going to make a change in the United States. He was young and appealed to a new generation. His most famous quote "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" was said to get the country together to fight against war at home, the war against social injustice such as poverty and disease. He showed the nation he cared about even the little person. He was a people's president. John Kennedy was going to change the world until he was shot in that famous scene of his motorcade being shot by Lee Harvy Oswald on November 22, 1963.. This date is carved deep into the hearts of those who were old enough to remember what happened. Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
 Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (October 2, 1869-January 30, 1948. Ghandi  was a leader of civil rights in British ruled India. He led India to Independence and inspired non violent civil rights movements around the world. After being thrown off a train for refusing to  move from first class he became involved in securing equal rights for all people of his nation and around the world. People followed him because he was a quiet peaceful man in a time of turmoil. He was seen as sort of a messiah for the people of his nation. Gandhi's methods for keeping the peace and his outlook on society are still prevalent today.
  Adolf Hitler ( April 20, 1889- April 30, 1945. Hilter makes it onto the list of great leaders not because of his message, but because he was able to lead millions in ungodly acts of genocide. The way he spoke to people and knew what to say to convince people to do what he wanted even though he was twisted in what was right is an amazing accomplishment. This ordinary man was able to gain support from millions in killing people that he didn't see as right. Why is this possible? Hitler knew where to talk up his message to gain the most support. As crazy as his message was, his able to gain support was genius. making him a great leader.

A leader is someone who can get a following and has the potential to change the way people think. Throughout history there has been many great leaders. Not all of these leaders are positive, but they are or were still great.

Social Psych and the Law

Psychology is present in all aspects of our society. The law is no exception. This is relevant in jury selection. As we talked about in class, lawyers often hire psychologists to help examine potential jurors in a trial. They use them to "evaluate" the person's personality.
In our movie 12 angry men, these jurors were probably not picked out by social psychologists. These were 12 men from different walks of life and when put together they all had their own opinions of the case. This jury would be an ideal jury in a case. They took the time, even though it was not what they wanted to do, to evaluate the evidence and explore the phrase "reasonable doubt". With the leadership of Henry Fonda's character they were able to come to an unanimous decision.
In today's world, these jurors would have most likely been facebook stalked to find out about their personality and their lifestyle habits which would have maybe excluded some of them from serving on this jury.
There is so much social influence on us today as a technology dependant society that its hard to find jurors who have not been exposed to cases. This gives them a bias going into a trial if they make it to the jury. Psychologists can evaluate potential jurors but if a person is not being honest with them how is this effective?
Take for example the Casey Anthony trial. I mean seriously unless you were the world's most reclusive person who didn't hear anything about this case? Let alone like 17 people who hadn't heard about it that lived in the area for jury duty. With a case so public how did a jury even get selected and if psychologists were brought in to help select the jury, boy did they drop the ball. They got the most ridiculous bunch of idiots to serve on this jury. Where was the psychology in that?

Agression and Life...Can it be unlearned???

My story begins in 2008 with the fight that ended life as my kids knew it and started a new life and a new me.. I was arguing with my kids dad and it escalated to a physical fight with a lot of pushing and screaming on his part. In all this confusion my son who was 3 and a half at the time was struck by the car with his father at the wheel. This is when I went nuts. I got my son into my car and was trying to get my younger son who was 2 at the time and as I found my son and picked him up BAM his dad hit me right in the face. The pushing and hitting continued until I grabbed the only thing I could a wooden handled sledge hammer. I remember hitting him a few times with this to get him off my child and I all this happened so fast. I remember thinking that my other young child was in the car and my older kids were playing at the neighbors so if he got this hammer from me that would be the end. That made me more aggressive in my fight right then.. I was able to get him off of us and get to the door as I opened it he punched me in my eye. I was a little disoriented but as I went out there I saw my best friend who grabbed my kids dad and threw him in the back of his car and drove him out of there.  My older son had heard commotion and called my best male friend and told him I was in trouble and needed him. The police and ambulance came and my friend told them where he had taken my ex and he was arrested. He then tried to get charges of aggravated assault on me, but the prosecutor saw my actions as self defense. I am not a violent or aggressive person. I am not proud of this situation that I put my children in, but I am glad that when it came down to it I was aggressive enough to probably save mine and my kids life.
After this ordeal my younger son was very aggressive if  he wanted something from someone he took it and if you said no he hit you. This went on for awhile, even while he under went counseling as did all my kids and myself after this. Now almost 4 years later my son still has an aggressive attitude, he stands up for himself and does not let people intimidate him, which is a good and a bad thing, but the acts of physical aggression are getting lower and lower. On the other hand my son who was hit by the car, he is very timid and shy, only recently has he began to stand up for himself and when you ask him why he tells you he does not want to be like his old dad. That what he did was wrong and it is not nice to hit even when you are angry. This is an extreme case of aggression, but it happens all the time. This situation also changed the way I parent my kids, they used to receive spankings, now after going through this spanking is no longer used in my household. I truly believe that when a child is shown life in one way when they are young enough and then introduced to a new life with consistency and balance they can be changed....

Poverty Simulation

So today I took part the poverty simulation hosted by the Northeast Community Action Agency. This was not really what I expected. This simulation that is designed to show us what it is like to be in a low income household trying to survive was not well designed. There was too broad of descriptions as to what we should be doing as members of the family. I was a 17 year olde male who was associated with drugs and dropped out of highschool with a baby on the way. That was all the information provided to me for this simulation. I had no idea what I needed to do to participate. So most of my time was spent wandering around the room. I did go back to school but then was kicked out and so I found myself wandering around again. I did run some errands for my mom, but there really wasn't much more to do. I did see that as a 17 year old there is not much you could do to help support your family in a time of need. I know that if you find yourself in a situation like this it is confusing and people don't always know where to turn. So it was good to see some of the recources available like the Communtiy Action Agency that provides help to people, although that help is usually not that easy to get. From experience the people at some of the organizations designed to help are not that helpful.

Relationships

My relationships in my life make me who I am. I think that you surround yourself with people and form relationships with them when the enhance certain aspects of your personality. My boyfriend is the one person that I can be silly and crazy with. I know he is there to guide me when I do dumb things and there to support me when I need it. My best friend is also there when I need help anytime. She is the bacon to my eggs. She is some one to laugh and cry with in a different way than my boyfriend is.  These two people with their love and support drive me to do things in my life I may not have done alone. My boyfriend is a huge supporter of my going back to school. He offers his help in any way that he can. My best friend does also, they both help me study when I need help and even watch the kiddos so I can come to school.  They both enhance my personality in that my boyfriend brings out my sense of humor and my Friend brings out my girlie side.

Collective self esteem

My Family

When I was trying to decide what group to categorize my self in I had a really hard time doing this.. Until I realized my most important group is my family group.. This group is not only my actual family but also very close people who I consider my family. These people have positive and sometimes negative effects on my self esteem and who I am. These people make me who I am.. I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, as well as many other side of myself. Of course there are definitions of who are members of this group and who are not. I see my self as the matriarch of my family group, because my family is who I want it to include. I am in charge of who I decide is in my family.. Even though there are those who I was born related to that does not make them in my family group.There are several people whom I am related to that I could never see being in my family group and then there are people that are not even blood that I consider my family.  My very close friend is a major member of my family group. She is like another mother to my kids and is always there like a sister. She knows she is one of us. She tells people all the time that we are her other family. There are those relatives of my long time boyfriend who I call my family even though technically they are not related to me. They all treat my kids and me like we are part of their family group. As that is how we treat them.  With all the members of my group that are not related it was a journey to get to know them all before they were silently accepted into my family group. This is even true with my boyfriend whom I can not imagine having my family group without. My personal connection to this group is strong, sometimes there is a little weakness but we always come back. I feel a great sense of pride in my family group, I think I did well in creating this little group of people. When I think about my group I feel a sense of accomplishment and joy to know that I have such wonderful supportive people who are there to take care of me. Outsiders tend to view my family group as good people. Most all think that this group of  people who take care of each other and that are always there for each other is a positive thing. There is some negativity but it never outweighs the positive. Being a member of this group is  a large part of my identity and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Groups

We are all part of a group. This is one thing all of us have in common, we are part of the group the human race.  This is close to where our similarities end. Many of us branch from this group and join many others, such as social groups, school groups, and other various groups. 

What happens to us as an individual when we become part of these groups. In the extreme cases some of us forget that we are individuals and tend to frame their lives around what their group would think. Those people are usually just limited to a main group and have no place in any others. 

For those of us who seek out several groups to throw ourselves into are usually happier for it. Putting ourselves out there to meet other people and expand our social horizons excites us. 

When we are part of group we usually tend to mesh with people with similar interests and people who we share common goals with. 

I do believe the older we get the less social groups matter to us. From my personal experience I have my few friends I sit with in the mornings waiting for class to start and visit with. But I really only have one of those that I spend time with outside the school setting. This is mainly because I have known her for a long time. I also really only have one other close friend that I spend time with because i have no need for a large group of friends. My family is the most important group I belong to, but remembering back to my late teens and early twenties socializing with my group of friends was an important part of my life.

Conformity

1. Conformity is defined as the tendency to change our perceptions, opinions, and behaviors in ways that are consistent with group norms.
Compliance is defined as the changes in behavior that are elicited by direct requests.
Obediance is defined as the behavior change produced by the commands of authority.
(All definitions courtesy of our textbook, Social Psychology)
Conformity is a change on how we view things and our opinion on those things and how we modify our behavior to be consistant with our new views. Complience is when we change our behavior as a responses to some one directly saying we need to change it. Usually we change our behavior because its just not worth it to fight authority over it. Obedience is the change in the behavior because of the authority that requests us to.
2. The factors of conformity:
     Group Size: The larger the group the harder it is to have a different opinion. If the majority of the group believe than more often than not a person will conform to their beliefs.
     Awareness of the Norms: Conformity usually only happens when a person knows about and focuses on the social norm. Often they mispercieve what is the norm.
     Having an Ally: Having an ally reduces the need to conform. When you are not alone in your beliefs it is easier to stand up for them. The pressure is less when you aren't the only one being urged to conform.
    Age/ Gender: According to our book women conform more than men. Also though gender may not be the reason for the conformity, that it may be due to the subject matter. Publicly women tend to conform more than men, this may be due to not wanting a public confrontation.
Conformity is different in different cultures. There are several variables of conformity in a society, these include the complexity of the society, the affluence of the society, and the heterogenity of the society.
3. The social impact theory  is the social influence depends on the strenght, immediacy, and number of source persons relative to target persons.  The credibility of  a source has a lot to determine a sources strength in their message to those not like them. The relavance of the cause determines the immediacy to make a decison to conform to the group. Also the larger the number of credible persons in a group the easier they can sway a person. This theory basically is the driving force behind many cult groups. They get strength in numbers and convince non group members that they are defying an almighty power if they do not coform.

When i think of conformity I do tend to think more towards negativity than toward any thing positive. Even though many do not like it everyone conforms in one way or another, just doing what your friends do is conforming to how they want to do things or what they think is right.

                                         THESE ARE THE FACES OF EXTREME CONFORMITY!!!!!!!!
                                           THEIR MESSAGE MUST HAVE BEEN POWERFUL!!!!
                                               WOULD YOU FOLLOW THEM!!!!!!!

Attitude

With it being election time, our attitudes come into play in a major way. First there is your attitude on certain issues, like homosexuality, the economy, and so on. Then you have your attitude toward the different candidates. You may like a candidate but not agree with his views, or vice versa.  Attitudes are everywhere not just at election time. Everyone usually believes the attitude they have is the right one. I know I have very strong attitudes toward several subjects and a person will not shake me from believing what I believe. I don not believe that your attitude can be changed if you are truly committed to it. I believe our attitudes play a big role in who we are as people.

Stereotypes and Prejudice

This chapter was an important one for me. As a mother of two mixed race children it hits kind of close to home. In my years with my children's dad I encountered many people who were prejudice and who believed the stereotypes that are out there about black people. I was once told my a police man that he saw my children's father walking and stopped him and because he was putting his phone in his pocket they almost shot him thinking he was armed. This is sad to say but the local police knew him fairly well and knew him to never be armed. This was that officer thinking with a stereotype, it was a good thing that he had enough sense to think before he shot. That was the most extreme case of racial stereotyping that I encountered. There was a time when I was going to rent a house, I had just got my income taxes back and was going to pay my rent up for a few months in advance and the landlord had no problems until my ex went with me to give them the money and then the landlord asked if I had this money because of boyfriend and possible drug activities. When I asked that person why they said that they said well people of that color usually don't have access to lots of money unless they are a dealer. Needless to say we didn't take the place. With my children I have yet to experience any type of discrimination or stereotyping about them. I think that it helps there are more and more biracial children entering school every year, that it is becoming normal to see them.  I do also believe that people with those negative views about other races can change. My boyfriend now who my biracial children call dad was a racial person. He did not like black people, he grew up in a rural area and was not exposed to other races. Now he loves our children like they are his own and his feeling toward black people have changed dramatically. My parents grew up in a time when interracial couples were not the norm, they were very disapointed at first but then with more and more exposure they realized they were wrong in what they believed also. I will never forget going to my parents for Thanksgiving and my dad was on the phone with my brother and he said "Callie and the boys are here, time for the fried chicken and watermelon" He meant this as a joke and my son looked at him and said "I'm going home, I hate fried chicken and watermelon." So that just shows stereotypes are usually not true.

Blog 2

In my life I went about thinking I could read people very well. I have always been one of those people who generally believes the good in people. I AM WRONG!!! Through my experiences in the last 3 years I found out I was totally wrong.  I thought I had found the perfect person in my life we had 2 children together and seemed very happy. He was the kind of person I had always hoped for he was attentive and caring and a great father, but under it all he was a liar and a cheater and a abuser, and I had no clue. I lived with this man for 3 years.
For me reading this chaper on percieving other people made me think of him and my situation whcih ended with a prison sentence for domestic assault for him. I found that it is our human nature to believe the good in people and that people don't lie.
I also think that once you encounter that betrayl in your life, that is when you learn to be skeptical and not take things peole say or do at face value.
When I think back on those years there are so many telling unspoken cues that he was lying to me, and I chose not to pay attention to them.
The way we percieve people is the way WE want to see them not neccisarily how they truely are.

Our Social Selves

As I was sitting here thinking about what chapter 3 means and what it means to be our social self it clicked in my head, really most every aspect of who we are is driven by someone else. This meaning that from what we choose to wear to even what we choose to eat is usually something that some where we were socially influenced be it by clothing we see in a magazine or a dish on television you just have to try. I as a parent realize that even my parenting style is something has been influenced by the people around me. So to me this raises the question, when someone says they are their own person, how much of that can really be true? I have always liked to say I am my own person, but as I think about this I'm really not 100% my own. When I think about all the decisions I've made today, even the tiniest one, if I'm going to be honest most of them were driven by what someone else would think. In today's society it is sad to say to truly be your own self you are labeled an outcast and no one wants to be called that.